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Sep 26, 2005



Dear Mule,
I think you have tragically misunderstood the nature of your relationship with your mysterious man. You thought that he was a ‘player’, this is bad enough. In fact he wants to be your Master. What’s worse, he wants you to pretend to be a mule.
Yours in sympathy,,,


Dear Mule,

I find it puzzling your discontent. Your's is a long and glorious history of academia! You, and those like you, are the front line intelligentia, the observers, the Watchers. Want not for the contact of your man but rather the perception you provide him! You were born for this task, trained for it, protected from the rigors of war within the safety of these strongholds.

Belay your dreams of conquest. Your's is already a role far more important and it is a cruel world we shield you from in return. We simply ask for the occasionally menial task while awaiting the far more important information you provide the apparatii as delivered through the network.

In safety,


Deal Mule,

Face facts. To this player, you're just another piece of ass.

Sincerely yours,


Dear Mule,

It seems that Mr. Player has been using you all along. Those gifts that he showered you with... did he allow you to keep them, or did he eventually sell them or, as you have said, give them away? I hate to break it to you, but you have been played by Mr. Player in his schemes for wealth and popularity. This one isn't worth your time. Take all of the gifts he has not taken back yet, move to a new server if need be, and start a new life for yourself that doesn't involve Mr. Player.

There is one other concern, however, and that is of illicit material. I know that you want to protect Mr. Player out of fondness for him, but remember that he might have endangered you with his acts. The way that he has used you almost as a warehouse so many times sounds as though he might be involved in some underhanded dealings. If you discover this to be true, don't fool yourself! Run to the authorities as fast as you can, and be happy that you've escaped this Mr. Player's dangerous game.

Sincerely yours,

Jim Self

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